band outing was fun. besides the fact that i got sun burnt literally and i was down with bad bad flu and a very sore throat afterwards.

sometimes it's really tiring reliving all these sweet but painful memories here.





440th post and im gone-


















to somewhere else.

tmr's band outing.








yet im not at all happy.

cause i just found out that today was the last day i'll be seeing ________.
and i sort of didnt realise.





god. how dumb can i get.

Warning: image heavy

pictures from east coast:

it's the 4th time this holiday that i feel asleep on the bus and needed someone else to wake me up when the bus reached the interchange.

embarrassing.

been really really busy these few days to the extend where it's been almost a few times where i almost broke down or lost control.

i need to breathe.



band has been my one and only source of entertainment. and it eats up the most of my time.

and browsing the blogs, i realised how much of the outside world i've been missing out.

i realised i really miss people like NUT (yufei!) and LIUYI and SOK and reading their blogs makes me miss them even more.

kexin/qianwen/ jasmine! dont worry. i still love you guys! (:
mian jun too. you've been such a wonderful junior. <3

it's amazing how we take the people around us, near or far, for granted. sometimes it's to the extend where they're really not there. yet it's only when their really gone that we start to miss them, and still to feel despair.

the point is: tmr's another busy day and the day after tmr is sunday.

sunday is the day where i go for jason's.

sunday is the day where i get to see some people.

and there's only 2 more sundays left. or maybe only 1.






and the thing is: i dont know whether to hold on.
maybe i should just get over it and move on.
maybe it's really not worth it.
maybe i should just forget about this whole thing.
maybe i shouldnt even think about this.

maybe im wrong.





LIUYI~~~. ): im so sorry im always bothering you but you're the only one who knows what's happening.

but this time im really lost. what should i do?

went down to school for BIO SIA in the morning. only kitkuan and i were there? hurhur. ended up scaring ourselves silly with the book of unsolved mysteries. URGHH. ok i think it was only me. :/

then went to lunch at KAP and then met qianwen at the busstop opposite kap. waliao. talk to me over the phone like she saw a ghost and made me rush all the way but end up she was just being very angsty cause yeo kexin was still at home when it was already after 1. and we were supposed to meet at 2. jo lee xin is the best lah. she was already at bedok mrt station when qian and i were still at kap. :/ and jo made the both of us cab down to bedok mrt.

qianwen you still owe me 1.30. quick im broke!

reached bedok mrt and jo went missing. she turned up at the wrong busstop. -.- no sense of direction please! haha. then we waited damn long for kexin and gave up halfway, going to the interchange first. tried asking alot of people how to get to east coast cause val was like "eh walk all the way to the end and there's a shuttle bus to east coast." where the hell is THE END? -.- felt damn loser please. and i was carrying 4 freaking heavy books from the school library to east coast. so smart lah.

finally found the correct bus, then we went up to the bus uncle to tell us when we should alight. in the end he didnt. -.- and we missed our stop. finally alighted and we walked to east coast. qianwen was AGAIN the slowest and she was like complaining like mad lah. haha.

reached east coast and we settled down at the food center cause ZHANG QIANWEN THE SLUG needed food. -.- omgg. but we were dying already so might as well die at the food center. haha. i ended up eating the lemons from their drinks please. and jo was the only one trying to sort out the stations cause qianwen's busy complaining to me about how kexin is like so late and calling kexin while i was just being baked by the heat and was dying under the weight of the heavy books lah.

for more details please refer to qianwen's blog. it's freaking hilarious.

kexin finally came, like FINALLY. after jo finished sorting out the stations and we were like "oh yay she's here! let's go." and kexin's look was priceless.

and we kept stealing kexin's lunch. haha. burger king! (:

so the FOUR OF US went to rackee the east coast. only the four of us. and i like my station. BUT I FORGOT ONE THING. must discuss tmr.

we finished the station allocating and the clues. omg i think they're so going to die please. cause the four of us are evil people. haha.

finally found a place to sit down and do a fake trail of the games. qianwen was like going to die if she didnt have an ice cream anytime soon so we went to buy ice cream. then we sat down to discuss the scoring system. omg damn hilarious lah. we were like trying some of the games out and we were already dying please! jo and i were like trying everything out and qianwen and kexin were like "ermmmm are you sure you want to do this? ok fine! " haha. shhh cannot say!

after finishing the scoring system, we went down to the beach to play! so fun! (: we attempted trying to write NYCB <3 in the sand but the waves kept washing it away! and we saw this small little boy digging a hole, and the hole was like deeper than he himself! like omg how is he going to climb out lah. O.O

took some photos. cant upload now. maybe another time. :/

oh oh! jo and i met a weird uncle. seriously weird. O.O haha!

kexin's dad fetched us to bedok mrt and qianwen and i took mrt home. i almost died please.






now i know where's TEMASEK JC! (:
shhh liuyi! i knowyou know. but i dont know whato to do. ):



i love this.



i love the dance. seriously.

awww zhi shu's so cool please. and xiang qin's plain hilarious. watch till the end! so hilarious.

qianwen ever asked why do i want to walk down this road.

and i realised-to make my own happy ending.

说你爱我-S.H.E.

下着雨 让尘气稀释回忆
我靠着你不出声音
看着你 看着斑驳的甜蜜爱你
困住你也困住我自己

我那躲也躲不掉的微妙伤口 隐隐作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜借口 也让我精神腐朽

说你爱我 变成一种问候
不如趁早放手 把爱坠落 让满地鲜红
说你爱我 变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后 我承担不起你的承诺

下着雨 让尘气稀释回忆
我靠着你不出声音
看着你 看着斑驳的甜蜜
爱你困住你也困住我自己

我那躲也躲不掉的微妙伤口 隐隐作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜借口 也让我精神腐朽

说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手 把爱坠落 让满地鲜红
说你爱我 变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后 我承担不起你的承诺

说你爱我 变成一种问候
不如趁早放手 把爱坠落 让满地鲜红
说你爱我 变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后 我承担不起你的承诺

说你爱我 变成一种问候
不如趁早放手 把爱坠落 让满地鲜红
说你爱我 变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后 我承担不起你的承诺



好久没有这样哭了。但这次我也没哭个痛快，现在心里也很闷的。

为什么？为什么生活就是这样的呢? 为什么周围的人都有两个面子，两个面孔，两个个性, 想要偏好周围的人，让他们个个上当才高兴。

all the world's a stage, and the people in it merely players.

but is there a need to act to the extend where you lost your own true self?











yet. i myself have split personalities.
the high, mad, over-enthu girl when im in band-
and the emo, troubled, depressed, loner girl when im not.

tag replies:
yihui: haha and i was so amused by the thing she recited to me please! and what what! what talking you! i also only have dlss guy contacts ok. ermm maybe plus some others lah but still! 2 or 3 only! :/ i want to sign up but i cant...
liuyi: ayee same here.
junqi: haha not like you at all! :/
peisan: oops! sorry melanie PHAY. haha. =x
qianwen: urghhh qianwennn im dying. i dont eveer think i've got the time to go and watch pirates.
cheryl: eh! which cheryl are you! haha. =x
hansheng: er. wow? :/
jiaying: ehhh! sorry lah! ):
. : yea thanks. who's this? :/

urgh









urgh urgh urgh.















im such a freaking loser.



i just screwed up for wenqi AGAIN. ): urgh i cant stand myself.
guess i was just so caught up with band outing's proposal that i forgot everything about the photoshoot.



im really really really sorry wenqi. ): for screwing up your life again and AGAIN. ):

went to jurong library with han sheng yesterday to study. saw joel kek and bing wei on the way there.


felt abit awkward cause we were like trying to find places to sit down and do our stuffs when actually there wasnt alot of spaces. it was very crowded. packed with alot of nanhua people. :/



finally found a place to settle down at the top level and did homework from 3-6. i think it was more of me asking him how to do stuffs and distracting him with talks and gossips of anything under the sun. haha. so weird. :/ and sorry for disturbing! =x


but anyhow, it was quite ok. and i manage to finish quite a bit. NOTE: A BIT. hurhur. but still! better than none! (:



and thanks for everything han sheng! (:














planned to go out with my family today. but it rained and we ended up stoning. liuyi and i talked about stuffs which sort of reminded me of the state im in now. ): LIUYI! i should probably give up lah. it's all my wishful thinking anyway. :/ and thanks for being there for me! (:





and I FELL IN LOVE AGAIN!!

WITH JOE CHENG. haha!



watching ISWAK made me fall in love with him again! it's just so sweet and heartening to see him act as coolio jiang zhi shu with an IQ of 200 waiting for xiang qin to chase after him. omg. HEARTTHROBBB.<3 haha! (:


joe cheng so shuai! and if only dramas were real.
*if only i had the guts of xiang qin. urghhh.*

S.H.E.
聽袁惟仁彈吉他